Will
A will to live
And a will to die
Both of these take courage.
And for long, without this was i.
i feared life
Almost as much as i feared, death.

Everyday a march
Every hour
Hoping,
Searching
For a charge,
For a spark.
i have highs and lows
That come and go
Distractions keep my mind away.

Until breathing was a chore
of my day-to-day

My mind clouded
With a million tomorrows
The things i say, said, and will say.
My memory drifts as my loaded corpse
Sifts through the same activities as before.
Muscle memory.
Just hanging on
To dread the same tomorrow as i did yesterday

The people
They keep me here
Awake, alive, well
If they did not instill dread
I would long be dead
From the thunderous buzz of my head.

Was it them

Or was it me

Who forced me from my fears?

Maybe my own overactive thoughts?

Maybe a song?

For today I breath
And tomorrow i will breath
And for all my prior breaths,
I shall say full heartedly
I now only fear death

There's always promise of tomorrow.
There is promise the air will fill my lungs
There is promise of a connection
To people
The earth i wander on
And myself.
I no longer dread living
Because the promise of tomorrow
Keeps me in today.