i don't want "i love you's"
i don't want that
i want something
someone
i need something new
my old medication doesn't work

it isn't strong enough
i need something new
more medicine
more
more
i need a new prescription

maybe he was my new medince
but he's too expensive
i had gotten a small dosage of his caring and i overdosed

my eyes are dull now
my posture is slouched
my laugh isn't as loud
my grades are dropping
my three meals are becoming one

i'm failing
failing at what i do
failing at being happy
failing at being me
failing at school
failing at friendships

now i realized that i need help
so they're getting me help
i was scared
i am scared
but i'm more scared of what direction my life is headed

i breathe sadness
i am sadness
nothing happy can be found in my mind
only my smile
not even my eyes
so i'll get medication
i'll drug myself up

i'll do it if it means i won't fail
if i can have friendships
relationships
be happy
get straight A's again
eat normally again

be okay again
so this is my poem
my poem to get me help
get me help before i'm bad again
get me help

get it for me
talk to the counselor
let them drug me up
let me be happy again
let them wash out my tainted mind