A.A. George

i have the record playing And I'm covering my ears Trying to shut out the thoughts inside my head

they just whirl and whirl around like the water in a toilet bowl drowning out the world I can't hear the music And I can't remember why I put it on

Why must there be happiness When my world just died? My Daisy, my Daisy, is gone For good.

nightmares plague my thoughts day and night I wish I was the one killed instead of her I wish she didn't stop breathing

How unfair is it That I still feel the air and breathe it And Daisy's body has long been cold as ice Buried in the unforgiving ground

It's unfair That I have the guts to walk when she never will again

months have come and gone and still, her eyes haunt my dreams her words' breath still lingers against my ears the ghost of her lips grazing my skin its been months and months and still, my heart breaks at the memory of her

I can't sleep anymore The silence is suffocating me And life moves on Without me

Was Daisy that unimportant? How are people still functioning? Am I crazy? They're acting as if nothing happened

And Here Am.

Just.

Broken. Like her bones.

I can't hear anything it's all just white noise but I needed groceries everyone is looking at me

like it was me that murdered her.

Daisy stands there at the edge of the dock alive, unharmed

"Daisy!" I call tears running down my cheeks as I walk towards her in a trance

Daisy, Daisy, Daisy. Daisy. Daisy-

"DAISY!" I yell As she shimmers And disappears And I wake up In a pool of sweat

"Daisy." Turbulent waves Threatening to pull me under I'm shaking and screaming But I can't hear anything Anymore

I'm still a breath away from that moment I can still hear her sweet voice from when we danced the night away

I'm still a breath away from her screams and the sound of her bones breaking

I've decided that hearts don't break 'cause they're not bones they're muscles and they rupture and tear and it's fitting 'cause that's more painful anyway no one can heal a ruptured heart

everyone is here even her stupid husband they're all crying I'm pretty sure it's fake cause I've never Seen any of them before

they have the balls to glare at me like that

'Cause I'm just the guy she cheated on with

but she loved me she loved me

i set the flowers down on the gravestone and hope she can read my words in my tears