A schoolboy sneaks off to a marsh to steal a gray duck, stuffing the live bird down his trousers so the ladies won’t spot it. Just then, his aunt and two daughters happen by, greet him cheerfully, and banter with “Coz” and “Miss.” The boy, trying to chat smoothly, suddenly feels the duck thrashing against his backside. Buttons burst open, and out thrust the duck’s white neck and red head. The girls gasp and stare, the duck quacks loudly, and one daughter, mistaking the whole scene for an aroused man’s body part, asks her mother if that’s what maidens long for. The mother replies it’s better to suffer on hot coals than to trust a man whose “yard” can talk. Alexander Pope’s playful imitation of Chaucer hums with mischievous, earthy humor. The antique language and deadpan delivery make the crude punchline feel almost innocent—until the double entendre lands with a wink.
Chaucer. — Summary
IMITATIONS OF ENGLISH POETS
Women ben full of ragerie, Yet swinken nat sans secresie. Thilke moral shall ye understond, From schoole-boy's tale of fayre Irelond: Which to the fennes hath him betake, To filche the gray ducke fro the lake. Right then, there passen by the way His aunt, and eke her daughters tway. Ducke in his trowses hath he hent, Not to be spied of ladies gent. 'But ho! our nephew!' crieth one; 'Ho!' quoth another, 'Cozen John;' And stoppen, and lough, and callen out,-- This sely clerke full low doth lout: They asken that, and talken this, 'Lo here is Coz, and here is Miss.' But, as he glozeth with speeches soote, The ducke sore tickleth his erse roote: Fore-piece and buttons all to-brest, Forth thrust a white neck, and red crest. 'Te-he,' cried ladies; clerke nought spake: Miss stared; and gray ducke crieth 'Quaake.' 'O moder, moder!' quoth the daughter, 'Be thilke same thing maids longen a'ter? Bette is to pyne on coals and chalke, Then trust on mon, whose yerde can talke.'