A watchdog named Snarl has been scolded by his master for barking at all visitors, not just obvious thieves. In this witty monologue, the dog defends himself: his duty was to guard the house, and no one ever said he should only alarm at beggars or common criminals. Snarl claims a natural gift—an exquisite sense of smell—that lets him scent out far more dangerous types. He can detect the flatterer who fawns, the clever wit who jeers behind compliments, the greedy dinner guest, the lady who gambles away your money, and the lawyer who protects your estate but leaves a hidden loophole. The poem turns a simple guard dog’s complaint into a sly satire of human falseness. Snarl’s tone is indignant but impeccably logical; he feels wronged because his master can’t see the swarm of moral rogues he’s been fending off. The mood is sharp and playful, as if a very perceptive dog is giving a lesson on how to smell out hypocrisy in polite company.
The Dog And His Master — Summary
NO better Dog e'er kept his Master's Door Than honest Snarl, who spar'd nor Rich nor Poor; But gave the Alarm, when any one drew nigh, Nor let pretended Friends pass fearless by: For which reprov'd, as better Fed than Taught, He rightly thus expostulates the Fault.
To keep the House from Rascals was my Charge; The Task was great, and the Commission large. Nor did your Worship e'er declare your Mind, That to the begging Crew it was confin'd; Who shrink an Arm, or prop an able Knee, Or turn up Eyes, till they're not seen, nor see. To Thieves, who know the Penalty of Stealth, And fairly stake their Necks against your Wealth, These are the known Delinquents of the Times, And Whips and Tyburn. testify their Crimes.
But since to Me there was by Nature lent An exquisite Discerning by the Scent; I trace a Flatt'rer, when he fawns and leers, A rallying Wit, when he commends and jeers: The greedy Parasite I grudging note, Who praises the good Bits, that oil his Throat; I mark the Lady, you so fondly toast, That plays your Gold, when all her own is lost: The Knave, who fences your Estate by Law, Yet still reserves an undermining Flaw. These and a thousand more, which I cou'd tell, Provoke my Growling, and offend my Smell.