Julian Scott looks back near the end of his life and describes how completely out of step he felt with everyone around him. Their truths seemed false to him, their justice felt unjust, and their reasons for living or dying were reversed from his own. He would have killed those they saved and saved those they killed. This is not simple stubbornness; he compares himself to a god forced to live on earth, someone who cannot move among human beings without constant clashes. The mood is isolated and defiant, yet also strangely calm. He sounds less bitter than exhausted, as if he has long accepted that he does not belong here. Earth is for crawling, he says, and heaven is for flying. Since his soul already has wings, the only answer is to rise toward the sun and leave the world behind.
Julian Scott — Summary
Toward the last The truth of others was untruth to me; The justice of others injustice to me; Their reasons for death, reasons with me for life; Their reasons for life, reasons with me for death; I would have killed those they saved, And save those they killed. And I saw how a god, if brought to earth, Must act out what he saw and thought, And could not live in this world of men And act among them side by side Without continual clashes. The dust’s for crawling, heaven’s for flying— Wherefore, O soul, whose wings are grown, Soar upward to the sun!