Thimble

The first thimble was the tanned hide of an enemy’s thumb. Whisky had yet to be invented, but needles were employed as lances in desperate finger-to-finger combat. Battlefields were so numerous, they were stacked into other battlefields like Russian dolls. Soon, brass was pressed into use, & one armorer began dimpling the surface to ward off smallpox. Prostitutes made their Johns (then still called Jacks) wear thimbles on every finger, because who knew where those hands had been? Meanwhile they were measuring ale with the horns of bulls. Guts were spilling from unprotected abdomens. If you didn’t want a sorceror’s tongue, you couldn’t stare open-mouthed at the pock-marked moon.