Ode to a Shoehorn

A shoehorn’s a sort of spoon-shaped chute for the foot, not for the shoe. Or at best, a social lubricant between the two, with or without the Freudian interpretation.

Boots are for those who toot their own horns, sporting as we know the handy bootstraps, which give the so-called self-made men a better metaphor for rising to their own occasion.