Confusion

Will our confusion ever end? Or is it destined to continue? Because the way we are now, Seems like an unending loop. Can I end my own pain? Or do I have to live like this? Will you end it all for me? Dissipate it's existence? Can I live without the pain? I think I keep it around to know I'm alive. I kind of like it now. To know I feel even though it hurts so much. But when you make me feels, It's never pain.... Always pleasure, how do you do it? Make me feel beautiful, when on the inside I'm scarred and bruised. Broken by my past, that sticks with me. That unbearable baggage that I always bring to everything. Have we even had a conversation where I didn't bring that up? But I think I bring it up as a reminder to know how good you are. And to know you’re like, I'm glad I have you and not him. I feel like I don't deserve someone as good as you. Who’s constantly trying to heal me and move me forward in life. Do I really deserve someone as good as you?