dont ask me to do that

i think what my problem is, is either i love him with every ounce of blood inside of me or i dont. i don't think i could ever be just friends with him again. i understand what you mean about opening up the wound over and over again it really does hurt but i'm scared that one day i wont feel anything anymore. i don't want that. maybe you do but i dont. i'm trying to learn how to turn my back on you something i've never had to do to anyone. so don't you dare ask me to do that to you -someone i love. my heart is on my sleeve and i will bleed out on the floor if you asked me to. so please look at me in the eyes and try to tell me to turn away and never look back from someone i trust with my life someone i want to put everything that i am into your hands. i look for you in crowds i look for parts of you in other people and it's never the same. and if i'm honest here, i don't want parts of you in other people. i want you and all your problems and your hopeless feelings the nightmares the trauma even if it's just as friends but don't you dare ask me to turn my back on you. don't tell me we're better off alone. please don't.