I start to wonder about unnecessary things in the dark.The later it gets, the worse it becomes.I start to part my room in two halfes. There is a nice half, with good memories and a clean mind.Plants and plans.And then there is the other half, dark and messy.A gloomy atmosphere, oppressively drab and grey.The room is representing what's inside of my head, what's behind my eyes.It depends on "who i am", on which half of my room - half of my mind I am.I have legs, I can go from one half of the room to the other.I have thoughts, I can switch from one mood to another.But I feel like I've lost control over that.
I don't know how to be anything other than intense.I don't know how to experience without feeling and thinking too much.I don't know how to sit still and quiet my mind and just be.I am always searching, always questioning and struggling to find the meaning in everything.I am passionate and I am deep.And that's why I am so often so misunderstood.
Today I woke up,followed by a headache.One hand around a teacup,the other felt my heart break.It's not a migraine,I'm just followed by my thoughts.I try my best to sustain,my twisted mind until it rots.
Consulting summer's clock,But half the hours remain.I ascertain it with a shock --I shall not look again.The second half of joyIs shorter than the first.The truth I do not dare to knowI muffle with a jest.
THERE once the wallsOf the ruined cottage stood.The periwinkle crawlsWith flowers in its hair into the wood.In flowerless hoursNever will the bank fail,With everlasting flowersOn fragments of blue plates, to tell the tale.
Growth of Man -- like Growth of Nature --Gravitates within --Atmosphere, and Sun endorse it --Bit it stir -- alone --Each -- its difficult IdealMust achieve -- Itself --Through the solitary prowessOf a Silent Life --Effort -- is the sole condition --Patience of Itself --Patience of opposing forces --And intact Belief --Looking on -- is the DepartmentOf its Audience --But Transaction -- is assistedBy no Countenance --