My Own Enemy

I look at my self with disgust, My fragile self-esteem crushed, Unable to stand the sight of my body, Oh how I wish I could look at myself more fondly.

I hate the way I feel in it, Never a moment of pleasure with it's appearance, I wish I could look in the mirror and smile, just once.

I wonder why I couldn't look like mom, She rocks everything even a bob, Meanwhile I can't even look good as a clown. Long, short, tight or free, Nothing seems to look good on me.

Even my insides feel wrong, I wonder how long this pain will go on. From health issues to body dysphoria, Not a moment of euphoria.

Till this day I have to wonder, Is it me or the beauty standard, But it seems my question still waits to be answered.