MANNERS FOR GENTLEMEN

A gentleman always pours wine for a lady so that the fire under her skin will not set the alcohol ablaze.

A gentleman always precedes a lady into a crowd to shield the innocent from the power of her gaze.

A gentleman always seizes his hatbrim when a lady passes so that the whirlwind that follows her will not carry it off into the street.

A gentleman always opens a door for a lady so that she may have her sword arm free to vanquish the villans lurking behind. (This is also why he carries her packages.)

A gentleman always walks on the streetside of a lady so that she may, with a white-gloved finger, tap into place any loose bricks in the foundations of civilization.

A gentlemen always follows a lady into a carriage so that he will not be in the way if she must stun the driver, seize the reins, and gallop resolutely toward the invading hordes.