Why Am I Me?
i'm emerald and viridian and olive because when i look at him, it hurts i turn green from sickness and jealousy i don't even know you why do i feel this? my skin is turning green because of you it hurts worse because you'll never know but i'll laugh and i'll smile and i'll watch because it makes me a little less lonely
i want to step on pots and hear them break so maybe i'll feel a little more in control and i want to break fine china plates just to hear them shatter on the floor i want to crack little painted clay pots because i've never felt loved before i'm filled with green and red and gray because i'm empty and tired and numb why do i have to be like this? why am i me?
I've struggled with social anxiety a lot, and so I'm not really close to a lot of people. I tend to push others away, but I get jealous and sad when I see others hanging out with their close friends. This poem is about that jealousy I feel. I was given a prompt in my writing club, where we were given an object and a colour. I got a pot and the colour green, and these are the feelings that came from that.