Never let me forget…
Never let me forget how much I wanted to forget the way you looked when I left you in bed this morning, to face the dawn & the dawning knowledge that the futile elegance of transcendent vision allowing us to see the meaningless mystery of everything, means nothing to me compared to you.
As every breath in my lungs pulled like wet leaves through mud, you looked so beautifully at peace:
a rare orchid on the far shore of sleep…
In that moment knowing I had to tear myself away from you only to throw myself into the world where bullshit reigns supreme, felt like a betrayal because I forced myself to forget:
Forgive me. It was the only way I could make myself leave the bed; leave the island of peace where our bodies press together, to travel across the filthy sea of the city that doesn’t give a fuck about you or me – or anybody at all – to work for the wealth of others, so that we can sleep beneath a roof & between warm walls; & we can eat without the need to raid bins to survive, & I can return to you again.
So never let me forget that this human world we live in is disgusting & you are the only reason I remain within it.