The Old Screen Door

Whoopie! Whoopie! Whoopie! It's summer time once more! And we are havin' lots of fun, Fixin' the old screen door!

That there door is sure a pest, It just won't work at all; You brace it with a piece of wire, Then see the blamed thing stall.

You nail a lath acrost the top, And lace it up with string; And when it's runnin' nice and smooth, The spring runs out of spring.

You fix and oil the hinges, You patch a hole with tin; And then, by gosh, it hangs ajar And lets the flies come in.

It sticks, it wiggles, binds and jams, But simply will not close; And when you're in a hurry — It bangs you on the nose.

You ask me how to fix it?: Sure old pal, just listen: The way to fix the old screen door Is — by gosh, the answer's missin'.