To Willie, the Weeper, the One-Man Band

Say, Willie, The Weeper, The One-Man Band, When you play a tune do you sit or stand? You must sit, I suppose, if you play with your toes, As well as with fingers, with mouth, and with nose; But, how can you do that and lead a parade? How can a non-marching band make the grade?

Oh, how can you tickle the saxophone, And at the same time make the bassoon moan? Play the piccolo shrill, with flourish and trill, Make the cymbals clash, or pause and be still — The trumpet, the tuba, the snare and bass drum? Oh, Willie, The Weeper, you must "go some"!

Perhaps, if I saw with my wondering eyes The way you conduct your complete enterprise, And heard, with my ears, the plaudits and cheers, And beheld the soft splash of your copious tears, My wondering mind might at last understand, Oh, Willie, The Weeper, The One-Man Band!!!