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Sad, Aline Kilmer, in English Clear filters

SadAline Kilmer

The Touch of Tears

Michael walks in autumn leaves Rustling leaves and fading grasses, And his little music-box Tinkles faintly as he passes. It's a gay and jaunty tune If the hands that play were clever: Michael plays it like a dirge, Moaning on and on forever. While his happy eyes grow big, Big and innocent and soulful. Wistful, halting little notes Rise, unutterably doleful, Telling of all childish griefs — Baffled babies sob forsaken, Birds fly off and bubbles burst, Kittens sleep and will not waken.
SadAline Kilmer

The Garden

And now it is all to be done over again, And what will come of it only God can know. What has become of the furrows ploughed by pain, And the plants set row on row ? Where are the lines of beautiful bending trees, The gracious springs, the depths of delicate shade, The sunny spaces loud with the humming of bees, And the grassy paths in the garden my life had made? Lightning and earthquake now have blasted and riven ; Even the trees that I trusted could not stand: Now it lies here to the bitter winds of heaven, A barren and a desolated land.
SadAline Kilmer

Atonement

When a storm comes up at night and the wind is crying, When the trees are moaning like masts on laboring ships, I wake in fear and put out my hand to find you With your name on my lips. No pain that the heart can hold is like to this one — To call, forgetting, into aching space, To reach out confident hands and find beside you Only an empty place. This should atone for the hours when I forget you. Take then my offering, clean and sharp and sweet, An agony brighter than years of dull remembrance. I lay it at your feet.
SadAline Kilmer

Prevision

I know you are too dear to stay; You are so exquisitely sweet: My lonely house will thrill some day To echoes of your eager feet. I hold your words within my heart. So few, so infinitely dear; Watching your fluttering hands I start At the corroding touch of fear. A faint, unearthly music rings From you to Heaven — it is not far! A mist about your beauty clings Like a thin cloud before a star. My heart shall keep the child I knew. When you are really gone from me. And spend its life remembering you As shells remember the lost sea.
SadAline Kilmer

My Mirror

There is a mirror in my room Less like a mirror than a tomb, There are so many ghosts that pass Across the surface of the glass. When in the morning I arise With circles round my tired eyes, Seeking the glass to brush my hair My mother's mother meets me there. If in the middle of the day I happen to go by that way, I see a smile I used to know — My mother, twenty years ago. But when I rise by candlelight To feed my baby in the night, Then whitely in the glass I see My dead child's face look out at me.
SadAline Kilmer

Moonlight

The moon reached in cold hands across the sill And touched me as I lay sleeping; And in my sleep I thought of sorrowful things : I wakened, and I lay weeping. I could hear on the beach below the small waves break And fall on the silver shingle, And the sound of a footstep passing in the street Where lamplight and moonlight mingle. And I said : "All day I can turn my face to the sun And lead my thoughts to laughter; But I hope in my heart that I never shall sleep again Because of the pain thereafter." The moon's pale fingers wandered across my face And the arm where my hot cheek rested, And because of the tears in my eyes I could not see Where the black waves rocked moon-crested.
SadAline Kilmer

The Lost Forest

I walked with my mother Where the tall trees grow, And she showed me tiny tables Where the elves sit in a row, And the bells that ring to call them When the night winds blow. There were small frosted toadstools, And little cups of wine. And velvet banks to rest on Where moss grew thick and fine, And a smooth brown ring for dancing Underneath a pine. But now when I go walking All the way is clear; The little bells are silent And the moss grown sere,
SadAline Kilmer

In Spring

I do not know which is worse when you are away: Long grey days with the lisping sound of the rain And then when the lilac dusk is beginning to fall The thought that perhaps you may never come back again ; Or days when the world is a shimmer of blue and gold, Sparkling newly all in the dear spring weather, When with a heart that is torn apart by pain I walk alone in ways that we went together.
SadAline Kilmer

I Shall Not Be Afraid

I shall not be afraid any more. Either by night or day ; What would it profit me to be afraid With you away? Now I am brave. In the dark night alone All through the house I go, Locking the doors and making windows fast When sharp winds blow. For there is only sorrow in my heart ; There is no room for fear. But how I wish I were afraid again, My dear, my dear!
SadAline Kilmer

When You Had Been Dead

When you had been dead a week I entered a shining shop, And there in a neat pink row Lay little dolls made of soap. And I thought, "I will take one home. How she will laugh to see it ! How it will bob in her bath And slip through her dripping fingers !" Only a moment I smiled. Only a moment I dreamed it. Then my heart stood still with pain And I went out into the darkness.

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