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Contemplative, Balachandran V, in English Clear filters

ContemplativeBalachandran V

Really

Isn’t it a pleasure To offer succor? Oh yes, we are so genuine, Touched to the heart Feeling, we say, the same pain and sorrow Though sometimes I wonder if we really do. Be it death or a lesser misfortune We condole, condemn the flippancy of fate That dealt our kith or kin this cruelest blow. Yet, I wonder, is it regret or relief That predominates our minds Regret for them and secretly, guiltily, Relief that we have been spared for now? My friend says – ‘Take it easy! Be cool! Heavens won’t come falling down!’ I take a deep breath; try to loosen my facial muscles
ContemplativeBalachandran V

Homeland

Far away, beyond the green paddy fields Beyond the thatched huts and palm tops A hazy gray blending into darker black Touching the shimmering white clouds Mountains stand like sentinels. It has been raining here; the leaves Underfoot bear my weight in silence. I pause – leeches, wriggling, reach out And clamber up my legs; a flutter in the woods – A bird? A boar? A deer? Who is it that I disturbed? In the deep forests, everything is dark and moist. Steam unfurls in the scattering sunlight. Silently, I watch – across the ridge, a rock shifts – In awe, with love, oh with so much love, a tusker in sight. Above my head, Minivets, Scarlet, like flashes of fire.
ContemplativeBalachandran V

The Scheme of Things

At the traffic signal, I crawl up Next to my friend's Mercedes My thirty-three year old scooter Hardly one-fourth its length. My friend, his business worth crores Puts down his Blackberry on the table Beside my five-year old Nokia, Scratched, scarred, and shoddy. He hugs me, his cologne- laced shirt Wrinkles its nose At my faded cotton - It tries to hide the button-less hole. He said how, one day He had this vision of a huge Banyan-like tree Ants marching, monkeys jumping Birds singing
ContemplativeBalachandran V

Belief

I am listening. The loudest, the most persistent is the hum of the ceiling fan. Cawing crows Horning cars, rumbling trucks Voices from across the street Parvati moving about in the next room - And the slow intake of breath into my lungs. I turn my ears inward. Conscious of myself tapping at the keyboard The cursor blinking. The little black line, going on and off On and off, on and off And waiting, patient. I am emptying my mind – or so I would like to believe.
ContemplativeBalachandran V

An evening in winter

It was dusk outside; inside the long hall Dinner was set; candles lit. Away, from the end of the corridor Twilight fell softly across the floor. At the other end, a door opened To a patch of sky and a green-capped tree. In the hall, alone at the table, I sat Staring at the food I really didn’t see. I didn’t hear him first; maybe I sensed – What was he after, inside a house? Silently he had entered from the garden Perhaps a gust of wind swept him in. A little sparrow, fluttering his wings, He skitters, flies up and down, zigzag. He almost hit the ceiling, and he didn’t - He tried to escape but the windows were closed.
ContemplativeBalachandran V

Life, a lie

How much truth in words? How much fully said How much wanted to say How much conveyed How much understood How much you want to know? When truth itself is so limited – Its all a lie- LOVE, LIFE, LIE…
ContemplativeBalachandran V

Friend

Dictionaries are books of revelation. You never knew what words really meant You took them for granted You assumed You had always thought so You thought that’s what people meant Until told otherwise by the dictionary. Shall we look up the word, ‘friend’? The word, in my hitherto life I have used So wantonly. I assumed it meant what I thought I felt For certain individuals I liked more than others. Certain individuals who were in my thoughts More often than not. Those for whom I felt affection Those for whom I ached
ContemplativeBalachandran V

From nowhere to eternity

Life is a continuum Extending from a nanosecond to trillions of millenniums from a bacterium to bacteria from a star to a black hole... In between, you and me, my dear we weave our lives from eon to eon how naive to think our love is eternal! how ephemeral are our lives, our loves when just beyond our fingertips the void waits to take us back- you, cosmic dust!
ContemplativeBalachandran V

The leftover

Do not look to the future. It needn't necessarily come. The present is now, whether you like it or not. Disbelieve what smart people tell you Past is the only truth. The past is yours, yours alone, Undeniably, unchangeably, Indelible, burned onto your brain, Scarring it forever. On a summer morning Shake it all down on a mat, Lay it on the sun, Warming, Watch it turn brittle,
ContemplativeBalachandran V

New Year Eve

Once again, at the gates of another year. In this endless desert The New Year sits like a façade, A prop On the other side of which The endless desert continues. We will go through the rituals Of living, loving, playing and crying Bringing and burying lives- The perfunctory calls and messages ‘Happy New Year’- We will go on with the play-acting, Feigning interests new Bidding farewells to old. We conjure up illusions of oases When all around the desert spreads.

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