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Dave Bonta
Take me to the dolphin.
A good husband is ballast, but he
is knowing in sea-business
and in the ice.
I row and look.
His is a serious art.
too hot
to wear anything
the wonder
in a drop of wine
full of daylight after
her husband is dead
with trembling hands, i cover my eyes
but not my ears
so i can hear his footsteps as he stomps through the halls.
i wince
as he bumps into the table and its squeak assaults my ears.
i choke
down a sob as he grumbles drunkenly.
stupid woman, moving my fucking crap.
stupid woman, spending all my damn money.
stupid woman, not waiting for me.
i forget to breathe, heart
sinking
as he stops at my door.
i force myself to groan and roll over as though i'm asleep,
struggling to breathe as the air grows thick and heavy.
i swallow the burn in my throat as he pats my knee.
I never saw you
Young and trembling
In Arkansas stooped
Over sharecropperlike
Making buttermilk for
Your fierce husband
But I loved you deeply
In the squalor of
Northern California
When you were old
And full of Jesus. . .
I hear him humming as he drives his car,
In mellow baritone, an ancient psalm--
Drifting down to his subtle modern brain
From his old covenanting ancestors,
Who strode bare-kneed through purple heather bloom,
Praising their God on wind-swept Highland hills.
I am his wife. Beside him vividly,
I see now not the crowded city streets,
Through which he presses, strong, aloof and calm,
Factories and shipyards where his vast machines
Whirr steadfastly, obedient to his brain--
I see now just those small and golden hours
When he is mine.