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cloverthoughts
don't look back.
don't do this.
don't do that.
don't be you.
don't frown.
all things that flood my mind.
also words i've heard along the line.
i say them in attempt to hide
what's actually going on inside
you don't know what's happening in your daily life.
you wake up, almost robotically
doing what you have to
what you've always done.
you make mistakes.
but you're human.
another thing i'll tell myself.
call me run through
call me a hoe
call me what you want,
because i know.
i know that i've made mistakes in partners,
and i've started things i couldn't finish,
excuse me, im here and i fall
i stumble at points,
so i've built up a wall.
walls that confine me to me and you.
and i've never been truly happier
here in these walls they've seen the best of me.
I am so very sorry
this was not meant to happen
this wonderful creation has been ruined
it's crazy how quickly things can happen
in the blink of an eye
something that has been building up over years
is destroyed completely
never to be rebuilt
the ivy leaves will grow up the walls of our castle
the old stone will turn to ruin
and overgrown plants
you and I will be new separate castles
each far away
but I will never forget the mistakes
I made in it
so I beg of you
I don't want to repeat
the same mistakes over again,
or the mistakes somebody else made just so
I can have the experience of them. See, fucked up again. Live and learn. And off the excessive fondness for one's own self knowledge, untested, but reigning supreme. That leads me more astray, every day. What we commonly know in the air, in our dreams, what chooses continually & continually to grow, the obvious under our noses, is this life. Yearning in blindness. The weed has a name, is quite proud of itself, builds a community with other weeds, birds hop through. The imported domestic is a labor of love, but a labor, such a labor. At home here, no single thought is my thought. It whispers
I've learned
to love all the wrong
because I wanted to be treated right
My trust in eternal friendship broke the day you decided to leave for a single mistake I made
I knew by the look
you gave me, then,
I had made again
some sad mistake —
Yet looking back,
I remember only
walking by the river,
bending over pools
for pretty stones.