cloudsonthemoon

crack my bones to see me glow break my heart and I'll give you my all

take my breath and I'll thank you with my last gasp of air

rip my skin and I'll make sure you're alright

smash my face and I'll tell them it was an accident

because you could never wrong me you just have you days

it's my fault I made you into this monster

but this is all wrong you should be holding me gently

but instead you're throwing me away to the lions

you should be kissing me at night instead you're haunting my dreams

and only when I get away and realise that this is not love will I be safe and sound

I sat on the hard wood above the lapping waves below me

an ashy cig in the corner of my pink lips

the dust off my youth falling from the tip and into the world

each breath slashing a whip against my bruised back

the memories of you float on rotten debris in the water

drowning every smile every laugh and yell

I flick the cigarette into the sea watching your ashes dissipate in the water

and only time will tell if they will wash back ashore

but in the meantime my love notes shall be written in messages in a bottle

for future generations to coo over gathering that we were children in love

they won't know the screams they won't know the tears and anger

they believe whatever fantasy their mind creates

but as long as they can be at peace I shall keep the truth under lock and key

I am so very sorry this was not meant to happen

this wonderful creation has been ruined

it's crazy how quickly things can happen

in the blink of an eye something that has been building up over years

is destroyed completely never to be rebuilt

the ivy leaves will grow up the walls of our castle

the old stone will turn to ruin and overgrown plants

you and I will be new separate castles each far away

but I will never forget the mistakes I made in it

so I beg of you be careful with your actions

on wrong word or sudden movement can kill everything beautiful

the bedroom door stays locked my thoughts wedged under the handle

blocking anyone from seeing what is on the inside

the walls are painted the darkest black and is completely bare of furniture

demons hide under the creaking floorboards

every night I take out a silver blade from a special place

and for the moments that my skin is a deep red the room lights up a bright shade of yellow and then the shame sets in and the darkness returns but if I try hard enough to not let the red come back the yellow will gradually creep back onto the walls

and eventually the door will unlock letting me out of my caged hell

they were filled to the brim by the only good thing in their life they then overflowed creeping out windows in the dead of the raging night they breathed in the vapour relief relapsing amongst the towering trees the corner of metal houses were the closest thing to a hug the sirens went around posters crinkled in the wind "have you seen this broken child?" the screams still ring in their pierced ears now silenced by the peace of being away from it all

staring at the same ceiling every day from late night to early morning the newborn sunlight iluminates my freshly torn skin as my eyes look upwards burning after a long time of not closing by now I know every dent every scratch and bump

my limbs weigh more than the ocean they stay glued to my tough sheets the expression plastered upon my face is one of great concern the thoughts running marathons around my head

the white ceiling knows me off it knows my bones my dimples and every freckle I want to stop looking at it but I am addicted I believe it is some sort of escapism but I will never change my ways

I could use a million different things to describe you

I could use all the cliches but they won't do you justice

your blue eyes don't look like the ocean rather like the colour of the certain lake from a childhood memory your brown hair isn't like sweet chocolate it is the exact colour that makes my heart well up to big in my chest

you're so much more than descriptions or any poems could relate to

there is something about you that isn't like the other people in literature

your eyes are a different blue your hair is a different brown your laugh is a different sound

nobody will ever understand the magic that you propell for simple words could never be you

cars driving past my window at 3 am the noise disturbing the white sheet spread across the suburbs

waking up the babies causing second-lasting fear for the adults

teenagers weeping under their dirty bedsheets stop for a moment to listen to the rumbles

what about the driver? were they driving home from the night shift?

or was it so much more? were they driving to a body beneath their feet?

were they bawling, just wanting to get to sleep?

each noise early mornings is like a ripple in the water

it cause so much but is over in a matter of seconds