Silence the ringing! quieter! quieter! I can't hear myself!
It's squeezing and clutching! Tugging and hurting!
I can't breathe, I-I can't. Breathe!
the reaper is waiting,
intently staring,
relishing.
Yet, I linger.
the enemy, do you see it? Right there!
can you see it? I gotta escape
the toxicity, it's infesting my mind,
I'm not okay.
crimson creeping up,
sweat dripping down,
I'm quivering,
I'm perishing,
Stuttering, "why is the bed shaking so wildly??"
Big creatures.
With smaller eyes.
Solid creatures.
With see-through eyes.
Cold creatures.
And happy eyes.
Warm creatures.
Dead eyes.
Silent creatures
Stern eyes.
Fuzzy creatures,
murky eyes.
Crowdy creatures,
Enlightened eyes.
Hollow creatures.
souless eyes.
Sitting in a void
Thinking about doing better
Doing it on loop
And not able to do better
Same old sobbing story to tell
All imaginary unimaginable gaps to fill
One mind to think about it all
Planning to make it better than all
Doing it on loop
Sitting in a void
Scared to do something new
Knowing the old methods are not enough
Reassuring you have got it tough
Trying to call out you own bluff
Doing it on loop
Sitting in a void
don't look back.
don't do this.
don't do that.
don't be you.
don't frown.
all things that flood my mind.
also words i've heard along the line.
i say them in attempt to hide
what's actually going on inside
you don't know what's happening in your daily life.
you wake up, almost robotically
doing what you have to
what you've always done.
you make mistakes.
but you're human.
another thing i'll tell myself.
Im trapped in my head
all my thoughts and desires stay inside
too scared to leave
in case of ridicule
ive been trying to let them out droplet at a time
but its hard
i feel like a prisoner
always locked away
the only time im authentic
is when im under lock and key
it spreads throughout my body
and starts to pain
writing it out
to make sure i dont spill
This isn't at all what I had planned
I just meant for it to be a small thing
I never wanted it to be this bad
The winds have gone from a gentle breeze to a thrashing gale
The rain has opened and is pelting the ground
Nothing ever goes to plan around here
It's always best to believe the worst
No luck will be found here
Just a confused expression sitting upon the ledge
I thought I had everything under control
I though all the cards would play out right
But this isn't what I have planned
I can't imagine life without it though
I m blind
Mind went dark
Blindly toward sounds
Running on the stones
Chasing them
Running fast
Stop.
Sounds disappeared.
Mortified spectators on iron bridge.
Flat rat-a-tats.
Lurid whistles hurtled.
Craters defeated paths.
Glass unhinged.
spectatorsFlat
whistles
paths
Glass
Spectators intoxicated.
Flat ums and ahs.
Nightfall whistles, melodious.
Vanishing ragged paths.
Air-nips turned glass.
Ripples at sluice gate.
Moments course residue.
Barges loiter in sparkles.
Crack – promontory jitters.
Gashed-black scalp refluxes
Distressing you to a whimper.
It was a chip. A simple french-fry
spread in ketchup and mayonnaise,
revealing itself on a traffic-island
opposite the dry-cleaners. Wings pulled -
lowering to ground, it assessed
a simple strip of potato.
I have never liked gulls. Wing-span
the length of seizing arms;
looping the circumference of my
scalp. It would take what it wanted:
a chip; my mind. Poker-face -
it circled for death.
She asked me what love was,
I gave her a simple answer,
Love is reflective, very reflective,
It' a two way busy street,
It appears better in pictures than in reality,
You never know when it is enough to love someone,
You never know where and when not to love,
You ask me a question to tell you that I love you,
It only need eight letters, but I will be lying to you,
For I'm a time bomb,
waiting for that last second count,
I blow everything close to me
The quiet is an endless street,
a street with glass and metal stabbing my very soul,
it has left my skull broken, my thoughts left flying, can you hear them, the screaming and the killing thoughts,
I was left on this quiet and empty street, never to be heard,
never to be spoken with my own real words, only silence lingers ,
only my thoughts are left and my broken skull,
mingled together to create my very quit being.