Eating disorder
Binging on the crumbs of my
own insanity
Refrigerator
door is closed for now but I
peep in for comfort
Loneliness is my
best friend beside the
loaf of disappointed fear
Never thought that I
would make a career out of
Losing weight again
Remembering I
have a solution beyond
the thinness of my own soul
Picking up a bite
Be cruel to me,
I'll make my heart kind.
Make me fall again,
I'll get up to rise.
Take away my freedom,
I'll free my soul.
Set the evil traps,
I'll make myself bold.
Cut my wings,
I'll fly on my visions.
You think you're killing a bird
But I'm a raging Dragon
The days go past
And we don't speak;
We don't write;
We don't chat.
When I am at school,
You are at home.
But when we do talk,
It's just like the old days;
Like it always was.
We pick up where we left off.
Because time doesn't matter;
Distance doesn't matter,
When we're connected by hearts.
For that reason,
We'll always be best friends.
Except these people haven't any dominion over you that
You don't hand to them yourself,
In your misguided attempts at self-parenting
A seed cannot water itself,
And requires the gentle warming touch of the sun
And yet we try to raise ourselves in the shadows
Of our own reprisals
We are children with no mothers
Rushing through a well-lit world with our eyes closed
"Open
Open
Open your eyes!"
And the voice of our collective heart remains pleading
Just stop running for a moment,
Hold your hands out to the void
And dare yourself to feel
It took me a while to realise
Deep in my self-loathing heart
That I didn't want to die
But I wanted life to start
I'm tired of being the moon -
perpetually dark,
cratered,
cursedly stuck.
I want to be light -
I want to be whole.
This time around,
I want to be the sun.
I think it had something to do with the way she smiled
She often did so when reading a book, or looking at a friends text
She would look around, hoping no one caught her in the act
I, however, have always been there
I think it had something to do with the way she laughed
She would throw her head back, having absolutely no cares in the world
Her whole body would darken like a paler shade of red
I have always laughed with her mind
I think it had something to do with her dark blue hair
Her confidence grew as her hair became much like the deep ocean tides
She began to hold her head up higher to the high sky
These changes I noticed the most
I think that until now, you thought this was a love poem
Dance beneath the stars
as you drink in the night.
Let the thunder over take you
as the lightening fills the sky.
Feel the force of nature
penetrate your skin,
spin with world
as the magic sinks in
I'm walking down the street
Heading to a far away area
Trying to relieve the pain
My tears mixed with the rain
You can't heal something when
You haven't cleansed it fully out.
I felt cleaned and refreshed.
I kept walking down the street
And I didn't give in to the pain.
the layers of glass
spinning up in the thermal
what can stop them now?
you ask me how they keep walking
the Peace walkers
walking all the way from San Francisco eta
to Moscow
their message is too beautiful for me to encompass
in a poem
GOOD NEWS!
But as a metaphor let me point
to that long-legged woman over there
she's pregnant in shorts and sneakers
her bunched veins
like blue hyacinth petals or berry scratches
& she wears a nice cool peppermint striped blouse
well, now she's walking heavily from one side of
this small playground to the other
in the sun
In the year of the ninth moon's passage
when the cradle was full of love
of the flood of eyes of the big rock's kick
and love cut open
wrecked distances
And time / was it?/ a still breath's bundle
stood on head in the air by the heels
and squealed in a clenched-fisted silence
at the sea and the ship's bottom fallen
and the milk rock pendulum of a breast fed it breath
and keels of the closed-in rocked-in stockinged sea
made a lap the world --
bounced you on pigeon-toed columns of feedings
what happening-to-life your selflessness
to self-possession would dispossess the same questioning
you in your time it knocks