Song From Marriage-A-La-Mode — Summary

John DrydenContemplative

Why should a foolish marriage vow, Which long ago was made, Oblige us to each other now, When passion is decayed? We loved, and we loved, as long as we could, Till our love was loved out in us both; But our marriage is dead when the pleasure is fled: 'Twas pleasure first made it an oath.

If I have pleasures for a friend, And farther love in store, What wrong has he whose joys did end, And who could give no more? 'Tis a madness that he should be jealous of me, Or that I should bar him of another; For all we can gain is to give ourselves pain, When neither can hinder the other.

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A husband speaks to his wife, coolly dismantling the whole idea of a lasting bond. He argues that their passion simply burned itself out—they loved until the feeling was empty, and once that pleasure disappeared, the marriage died with it. The vow, in his view, was never a sacred promise; it was just a contract sealed by excitement, and now that the excitement is gone, the obligation vanishes too.

He then shifts to a kind of blunt pragmatism. If he has new pleasures to share with someone else, what real harm does it do a spouse whose own desires have already faded? Jealousy, he says, is madness—they would only be torturing themselves by trying to restrict each other’s freedom. The mood is sly, conversational, and deliberately unromantic. There’s no anguish here, only a light, almost dancing cynicism. The speaker sounds like a worldly libertine shrugging off convention, turning fidelity into a worn-out game not worth playing.

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