Fears and Scruples

Here's my case. Of old I used to love him. This same unseen friend, before I knew: Dream there was none like him, none above him,-- Wake to hope and trust my dream was true.

Loved I not his letters full of beauty? Not his actions famous far and wide? Absent, he would know I vowed him duty, Present, he would find me at his side.

Pleasant fancy! for I had but letters, Only knew of actions by hearsay: He himself was busied with my betters; What of that? My turn must come some day.

"Some day" proving--no day! Here's the puzzle. Passed and passed my turn is. Why complain? He's so busied! If I could but muzzle People's foolish mouths that give me pain!

"Letters?" (hear them!) "You a judge of writing? Ask the experts!--How they shake the head O'er these characters, your friend's inditing-- Call them forgery from A to Z!

"Actions? Where's your certain proof" (they bother) "He, of all you find so great and good, He, he only, claims this, that, the other Action--claimed by men, a multitude?"

I can simply wish I might refute you, Wish my friend would,--by a word, a wink,-- Bid me stop that foolish mouth,--you brute you! He keeps absent,--why, I cannot think.

Never mind! Tho' foolishness may flout me. One thing's sure enough; 'tis neither frost, No, nor fire, shall freeze or burn from out me Thanks for truth--tho' falsehood, gained--tho' lost.

All my days, I'll go the softlier, sadlier, For that dream's sake! How forget the thrill Thro' and thro' me as I thought, "The gladlier Lives my friend because I love him still!"

Ah, but there's a menace some one utters! "What and if your friend at home play tricks? Peep at hide-and-seek behind the shutters? Mean your eyes should pierce thro' solid bricks?

'What and if he, frowning, wake you, dreamy? Lay on you the blame that bricks--conceal? Say 'At least I saw who did not see me, Does see now, and presently shall feel'?"

"Why, that makes your friend a monster!" say you; "Had his house no window? At first nod, Would you not have hailed him?" Hush, I pray you! What if this friend happen to be--God?