After a long absence, the speaker returns to someone he loves and finds her words still smooth and easy, like clothing that hides what she really feels. He wonders whether her heart beats as violently as his own underneath that calm surface. He admits he has never told even himself how painful their separation was. Now he wants something real between them: he would rather strip away all pretense and stand naked before her, or even be wounded by her rejection, than stay trapped in polite coldness. Her kindness without passion feels worse than a blow, because it gives his ache no outlet. The mood is restless, almost angry longing—a desire for truth and intensity, even if it hurts, instead of a distant, withholding affection. The speaker loathes being held at arm’s length when he is burning to be let in.
After Many Days — Summary
I WONDER if with you, as it is with me, If under your slipping words, that easily flow About you as a garment, easily, Your violent heart beats to and fro!
Long have I waited, never once confessed, Even to myself, how bitter the separation; Now, being come again, how make the best Reparation?
If I could cast this clothing off from me, If I could lift my naked self to you, Or if only you would repulse me, a wound would be Good; it would let the ache come through.
But that you hold me still so kindly cold Aloof my flaming heart will not allow; Yea, but I loathe you that you should withhold Your pleasure now.