Agent Aslan's "Friend Whore" is a bitter portrait of people who show up for the good times and vanish when things get hard. The first stanza gives us their favorite phrase, "Things will be fine," which the speaker hears not as comfort but as a polite way of saying "go away." They guard their belongings and their wine, and they refuse to let anyone stay.
In the second stanza the speaker imagines what these friends would say if they were honest. They don't care if you fail, end up in jail, or bleed. They only want to be remembered when you succeed, so they can share in it. The cheerful, rhyming tone makes the coldness feel almost sing-song, which sharpens the sting.
The closing lines compare these people to "all the parties before": they'll turn up again, carefree and thoughtless. The mood is resentful and weary, with sarcasm covering real hurt. The speaker seems to have learned the hard way who is only there for the fun, and the blunt title makes that judgment impossible to miss.