Sleep, while I scream. — Summary

Alisha S.Anxious

Sometimes, I can't tell if it is rain or teardrops running down my face. I long for silence, but the wind is screaming. The wind, screams bloodcurling screams, forcing my heart to beat faster than it did when you said those God-awful words. When the wind screams, it sounds detached. Like, it hears the screams, but can't realize they come from it's own mouth. Maybe you broke the winds heart too. Maybe you led it on. Maybe your relationship with the wind was just as dysfunctional, and now the wind is going insane with pain?..no, numbness. The wind cannot feel, because there is only so much agony a heart can bare, only so far you can tear it before it is shreds, only so far it can sink before it hits bottom. It sounds loud now, beckoning me like a siren, like a fish to water, a bird to air, together our screams blend to force on a storm, but suddenly, silence. By God- I am screaming louder than the winds.

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Alisha S. writes about heartbreak by handing her pain to the weather. The speaker can't tell rain from tears, and the screaming wind seems to say what she can't. She imagines the wind as another victim of the same person: maybe it was led on, maybe it was hurt until it went numb. That guess is really about herself. Her own heart has been torn and has sunk as far as it can go.

The mood starts restless and aching, then builds into something like a storm as her screams and the wind's "blend." Then comes a sudden silence, which feels like a held breath. The ending is a jolt. She realizes the screaming she has been hearing, and judging the wind for, is partly hers. Like the wind that doesn't recognize its own mouth, she has been numb to her own pain until now. The poem ends with her finally letting it out, louder than the storm.

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