Take 3/16/61 — Summary

Diane di PrimaContemplative

there is a loaf of datenut bread on the table, wrapped in waxed paper, a rubber band around it. a fat man comes in & out of the back room in his shorts. the silence is noticiable. i mean, to one who has lived for four yrs in apartments facing on a courtyard where they shout day & night, the silence is noticeable.

the children i am watching are asleep, the doorbell will ring any minute, i skim along, typing a libretto by kenneth koch; avoiding detailed observation of my emotional state (sic),

the i ching says that the superior man knows the changes of season. clothes are hanging in this kitchen, they are enormous, well,

i won't wash the bedspread tomorrow or over the weekend, at least that will be something

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The speaker is babysitting in an unfamiliar apartment, and the poem reads like a running log of what she notices. There's a loaf of date-nut bread, a man wandering around in his shorts, clothes hanging in the kitchen. After years of living beside a noisy courtyard, she finds the silence almost strange. She is typing a libretto by Kenneth Koch, waiting for the doorbell, with the children asleep.

What she feels is mostly kept out of sight. She says she is "avoiding detailed observation" of her emotional state, and the flat, offhand tone backs that up. The I Ching line about knowing the changes of season sits oddly between the mundane details, as if she is reaching for wisdom but landing back among the laundry. The ending is small and a little wry: not washing the bedspread is "something." The mood is tired, watchful and slightly lonely, with a thin comfort in a modest, hard-won bit of rest.

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Take: 3/15/61

maybe i am crazy, since probable nobody else is up, at 3 a m,eating chicken gizzards and reading raymond chandler after having gone thru all the mail that's hung around