Random Access Memories — Summary

Balachandran V18.12.2006, KottayamDreamy

The time is nearing to leave. File – save as – give a name And it becomes a part Of my documents Hidden behind a password Which I only know. In the recesses of my hard disks C:\ My documents\ Kottayam, or- Some other name that I decline To tell you.

Later, in a lonely night I will access the file And glance through it At random.

This flower, that face This light that flicker in the darkness Those shadows thrown by the moonlight. That faraway bark of a dog That fading noise of a truck This moment – save, save Save to the file.

Memories are read-only Unchangeable, inerasable. One day, the system would hang – And the Technician would say – The hard disk is gone. Perhaps he would re-use The serviceable parts – Perhaps he would dump it as junk. Till then, my love, I shall access you – at random.

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The speaker is about to leave Kottayam, which the poem's dateline names, and decides to keep the place the way someone saves a computer file. Everything is described in computer terms: "save as," a password, a folder path, a hard disk. The speaker will keep the folder's real name private, which suggests the memories are deeply personal, perhaps tied to a loved one, since the poem ends by addressing "my love."

What gets saved is small and ordinary: a flower, a face, a flickering light, moonlight shadows, a distant dog's bark, a truck fading away. The speaker seems to treasure sensations more than big events.

The mood is tender but tinged with sadness. The speaker claims memories are "read-only" and "inerasable," yet admits the hard disk will one day fail and may be thrown away as junk. The technical language keeps the feeling restrained, while the ending, "I shall access you – at random," quietly shows how much the speaker holds on to what has been left behind.

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