Immortality — Summary

Balachandran VTrivandrum 20-08-2008Contemplative

Its spine broken and torn

Leaves left devoured by silverfish,

Corners crumbling with age -

My hands tremble as I open the book.

Carefully, tenderly, I turn the frontispiece -

Shabby, tattered yet holding up together

With a dignity that only books can have -

I shake out the dust and faecal matter.

The book is still silent, slightly embarrassed

But not showing any -

Like my mother, paralysed

As I clean her with wet cotton blobs.

In the left corner of the first page

The book said -

‘With all good wishes to my son’

Signed, my father, forty years ago.

I run my fingers over the lines

Lift up the book to smell it deep

Rest my palm where he would have -

I am in touch with my father.

For my child, what do I leave

Would he care

Would he gratify me -

With immortality?

Would he

Standing alone in the mountains high

Would he

When snowflakes fall, kissing his face?

Would he

When winds roar past his face

Would he

When the hills fall silent?

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A man opens an old, battered book, its spine broken and its pages eaten by silverfish, and finds an inscription from his father: "With all good wishes to my son." The speaker handles it with trembling tenderness, cleaning away dust and droppings the way he cleans his paralysed mother. In both cases, he treats something frail and silent with care and respect. Touching the page and resting his palm where his father's hand once rested, he feels connected to a man he has lost.

Then the poem turns toward the future. The speaker wonders what he will leave his own child, and whether the child will ever feel that same closeness. The final questions, set among mountains, snow, wind and silent hills, feel lonely and unanswered. The mood moves from gentle nostalgia to quiet anxiety: the speaker longs to be remembered, and fears he may not be.

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