Friend — Summary

Balachandran VTrivandrum 03.03.2009Contemplative

Dictionaries are books of revelation.

You never knew what words really meant

You took them for granted

You assumed

You had always thought so

You thought that’s what people meant

Until told otherwise by the dictionary.

Shall we look up the word, ‘friend’?

The word, in my hitherto life I have used

So wantonly.

I assumed it meant what I thought I felt

For certain individuals I liked more than others.

Certain individuals who were in my thoughts

More often than not.

Those for whom I felt affection

Those for whom I ached

For whom I would relegate my personal priorities

From whom I wanted respect, love and care

To whom I could say anything (mostly) I wanted

With whom I could be what I wanted ( I thought) to be.

Memories of camaraderie, of shared moments of life

Your happiness mine

Your sorrows mine -

Yet, dismaying – I realise I, have to be there

Separable from you -

Always, there are you and I...

Disheartening - that I, am there

In everything I think of you...

The I with you, my friend, you see

Is the friend that you want me to be

Not me, not me, not me in my entirety.

The bottom line, my friend,

Is never to take each other for granted,

Though, in moments rare, be grateful -

Nothing more, but be grateful

That we are there in our times of need

Or even, just that we are there...

Somewhere reachable

Just like the dictionaries

When you grope for the meaning

Not of words, but of life...

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The speaker begins with a simple idea: we use words without really knowing them until a dictionary corrects us. Then he turns that idea on "friend," a word he admits he has used carelessly. He lists what friendship has meant to him: people he thinks about often, aches for, puts before his own needs, and feels free to talk to.

Then comes a sour realisation. Even in the closest bond, there is still "I" and "you." The self he brings to a friend is only the version the friend wants, "not me in my entirety." The tone here is dismayed and a little lonely.

The ending softens. He advises never taking each other for granted and being grateful, even just that someone is out there, reachable. Friends, he suggests, are like dictionaries, something to reach for when we search for the meaning of life. The mood is reflective, honest, and quietly resigned rather than bitter.

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