The speaker is looking at the end of a love, or a love that has gone cold, and admitting to a kind of willful numbness. Each of the first two stanzas repeats "Maybe I'm afraid so I would not see" and "so I would not feel," as if the speaker keeps circling the same excuse. Whatever the other person offers, whether a long gaze at the dusk, a half-twitched smile, or an icy touch and a wintry kiss, the speaker half-refuses to take it in, because it is easier than facing what it means.
The two indented lines break the pattern. The speaker scolds "pretensions" and notes that the eyes have lost their sparkle, which hints that the closeness is partly an act, perhaps on both sides. The ending turns stubborn and a little defiant: the speaker will carry the hurt "for as long as it takes."
The mood is cold, wistful, and quietly bruised. The repetition feels like a mind stuck on a painful thought, and the winter imagery makes the affection seem to be fading.