Bedeviled

it's sickening the hold you still have on me when you're nothing but a rotting corpse, an empty sack of flesh, decaying in the dirt beneath my feet. yet i still find myself trying to limit the mess my ashes make when i burn trying to quiet my screams as i drown trying to decide how much i can bleed before i stain the carpet all because of the lessons i learned from you. it's sickening.