Swiper No Swiping

everything i've ever loved- my mom, pillow forts in the living room, having my hair brushed, butterfly kisses, my dad, suffocating hugs, laughing until i can't breathe, tickle fights, stargazing, my amorcito, a home- has become everything i've ever lost. why? why can't i keep a semblance of happiness in my life? do i not deserve it? am i not good enough?