In just a few lines, the speaker admits to a feeling that doesn't make sense, and that's exactly the point. They say they hate talking to this person, yet they wish the conversations would never end. Both feelings are true at once, and neither cancels the other out.
The last line explains the knot. The speaker is talking to someone they once loved deeply, and the hurt of that history is what makes every exchange painful. Each conversation probably reminds them of what's been lost, but it's also the only connection they have left, so they can't let go of it. The word "so" in "loved so" suggests how big that love was, and how much the hating costs.
The mood is quiet, tired, and aching. The lowercase letters and the short, plain lines make it feel like a private thought, something said half to oneself rather than performed. It leaves you with a sense of being stuck between wanting to leave and wanting to stay.