Eye to Eye — Summary

Dave BontaContemplative

In the story of my childhood I am usually elsewhere, a thin presence to myself, mumbling from a script of my own devising. It never occurs to me to wonder how my opposite number the hero might really feel: Hey, it’s hot up here! I’m tired of coming to the rescue of girls you’re too scared to say one word to. And how can you call yourself a pacifist & expect me to avenge all wrongs with my infallible fists?

Of unscripted moments, I remember few. I wreck every kite I ever try to fly in the mountaintop’s sideways wind.

Late summer of my 40th year, I catch an echo of my childhood in the nightly chorus of katydids, their camouflaged leaf-bodies falling out of & back into unison like a concert audience that continues its rhythmic clapping during a break in the music. I float on that throbbing: sleep is the only time I get to dream now. By day, I tread the high wires of the cicadas’ whine & press a cold watermelon to my belly – one sightless eyeball to another. Soon enough, all distance will dissolve into a single arc of spent sugar. The half-moon will rise a lurid red.

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The speaker looks back at a childhood spent mostly in his own head, playing a role he wrote for himself. In his imagined story there is a hero who rescues girls and settles scores with his fists, and the speaker, a self-described pacifist and a shy boy, never thinks about how tiring that hero's job might be. The poem finds humor in this, letting the hero talk back. Real, unplanned moments are rare in his memory, and the one he does recall is a failure: wrecked kites in a wild mountain wind.

Then the poem jumps to late summer, when he is forty. The katydids' chorus brings his childhood back, and the mood turns drowsy and slightly uneasy. He presses a cold watermelon to his stomach, calling it "one sightless eyeball" meeting another, which is a strange, funny image of closeness. The ending darkens: distance will "dissolve," and the moon rises a "lurid red." The poem seems to sense time running out, even as it savors the season's sweetness.

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