Waking Up Dead — Summary

Dave BontaAnxious

Lost the letter I in a card game & wake up still a little drunk. The sky looks like the proverbial world of hurt, scarred by contrails that fade slowly, much too slowly. Laundry flaps on the line, & I can make out every word: Red. Black. Blue. The dark wash.

But where is everybody? This old light bulb is fresh out of ideas, even bad ones. This body wants to be thumbed through like someone’s bedtime reading. The kind with covers of broken-down leather, dog-eared pages edged in ineradicable gilt – the sun through closed eyelids.

Jesus. This would be a damn sight easier if I still made sense.

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The speaker wakes up hungover and disoriented, and the poem treats that fog as something close to a loss of self. The opening joke does a lot of work: he "lost the letter I in a card game," so the first-person pronoun has literally dropped out of his sentences. Without it, he describes the world in flat, fragmentary glimpses: scarred sky, laundry on the line, a few colors named like labels.

Then comes a flicker of loneliness ("where is everybody?") and a sense of mental emptiness, with even the light bulb out of ideas. The body is imagined as an old, well-worn book, begging to be read by someone else, and the glow of sun through closed eyelids becomes its gold-edged pages. That image is tender, almost beautiful, which sits oddly against the rough mood around it.

The tone is wry, tired, and quietly desperate. The closing line admits the joke's real cost: it would be easier if he still made sense.

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