THE FUTURE POET LAUREATE WRITES IN HER JOURNAL — Summary

Dave BontaAnxious

I’ve been so swamped, I took a mental health day, called in sick. My poems are dwindling like unused extra fingers. But the signs weren’t good: first the car that wouldn’t start, then no heat in the apartment. And in between the therapist saying you have to learn to let go. Hell, I barely made it to the appointment. How can I relax when my mechanic charges twice as much as my therapist? I ask the radiator repairman, can’t you fix it so it doesn’t knock? I need things to be simpler than they are.

Today my car still isn’t running & I work eleven hours, 9:00 to 8:00. After work I’ll rent an old movie & fall asleep on the couch, the tattered cushions will take me as I am, will let me down gently into their kingdom of spare parts. I’ll weight my pockets with ballast of coins & combs, let the missing socks stay missing, pay no mind to the pens all sticky with ink.

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The speaker is a worn-out woman whose life seems to be breaking down in small, irritating ways. She calls in sick for a mental health day, but the day doesn't go well: the car won't start, the heat is out, and the therapist's advice to "let go" feels almost insulting when the mechanic costs twice as much. Her poems are "dwindling," and the title's wry label, "future poet laureate," hints at the gap between big ambitions and a life of repairs and long work hours.

The mood is tired and darkly funny, then softer. In the last stanza she imagines the couch, an old movie, and cushions that will "take me / as I am." The clutter of coins, combs, lost socks, and sticky pens becomes strangely comforting. She can't fix everything, so she lets the mess be. The line "I need things to be simpler than they are" is the quiet center of it all.

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