Vacuuming the beetles — Summary

Dave BontaAnxious

Hundreds of ladybugs huddle together in clumps in the corners where wall & ceiling meet. I point the black tube like a magic wand, a reverse rifle, & the beetles disappear with the briefest of rattles down the vacuum’s plastic throat. This is nothing like hunting, no meditative wait, no tense silence or rush of adrenaline. Snuffing out these house invaders, I feel nothing. I am alone with the sound of the cleaner, which cancels out every competing thought. If there were sound in space, a star would howl like this when it collapsed into itself: detritus from the ceiling, meet the detritus from the floor. Bright clot of color, flame, here’s a sackful of dust in which to gutter. The acrid stench of alarm pheromones grows stronger & stronger, & my stomach heaves with sudden nausea, the body’s impulse to rid itself of itself, starting with the most recent foreign matter.

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A man vacuums up a swarm of ladybugs clustered in the corners of his ceiling. At first the job seems almost playful: the vacuum hose is a "magic wand" and a "reverse rifle," and the beetles vanish with a small rattle. The speaker is quick to say this isn't like hunting. There is no patient waiting, no thrill, and he feels nothing at all. The roar of the machine drowns out his thoughts.

But the poem slowly turns. He imagines a collapsing star howling, and the ladybugs, "bright clot of color, flame," end up guttering out in a sack of dust. Then the insects' alarm smell rises, and his stomach heaves. The final lines suggest the body wants to expel itself, "starting with the most recent foreign matter." The mood shifts from detached and businesslike to uneasy and queasy, as if the numbness he claimed was only a thin cover for guilt or a sense of his own disposability.

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