The anatomy of perception (2) — Summary

Dave BontaContemplative

When the scholar’s eyesight fades, what good are his books? His library turns as unreadable as Lascaux: scriptless drama of shapes on the walls of a cave, the artifice unglossed within the viscera where the quarry – tissue of allusions – still bristles with bookmarks. That flux of the world of becoming: to capture is to kill it. Decipherment leads to loss. The dance must be primary, he wrote.

I acted briefly as amanuensis, lent him my eyes for a paper he had to give. Bending to my task, I felt of little use, a cheap fiction. My West Coast accent flattened the words he loved, robbed them of shadows – like trading embossed leather covers for a paperback spine. Perhaps he sensed, even then, the germ I carried on my youthful breath, insidious as any misty paraphrase, corrosive as hope.

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Dave Bonta begins with a blunt question: what use are books to a scholar who is going blind? The poem answers by comparing his library to the cave paintings at Lascaux, full of meaning that can no longer be read. The speaker then recalls a time when he lent the scholar his eyes, reading aloud for a paper the older man had to give.

The feeling here is quiet unease. The speaker felt "of little use, a cheap fiction," and his West Coast accent seemed to flatten words the scholar loved, like swapping a fine leather binding for a paperback. The ending is the most unsettling part. The speaker wonders whether the scholar sensed something in his youthful breath, a "germ" as corrosive as hope. The poem suggests that helping can also be a kind of intrusion, and that youth may carry its own loss. The mood is reflective, tender, and a little guilty.

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