To the Child I Never Had — Summary

There you are again, hollering just for the company of the echo. There you are wearing my genes, bucktoothed, nearsighted & hollow-eyed from insomnia, the family curse. I know you, long-distance runner, apostate, follower of game trails. I see already your ruin, inevitable as oxygen. I hear the birds who never spoke to me calling to you by name, as if the world could possibly miss one more neurotic primate lover. The bindweed sheds its leaves & turns to gold filagree in the lilac, above the graves of the strangers whose whiskey bottles I have placed, green & purple, in the windows to catch the winter sun.

Show the whole poemHide the poem

Learn Poems app

Try the Learn Poems app

Everything from the website trainer, and more: new exercises, voice recording and sharing, reminders, quick review.

The speaker addresses an imaginary child, someone he conjures up so vividly that he can list its flaws: buck teeth, poor eyesight, sleepless nights, all inherited. The tone is teasing and tender at once. He calls the child a "long-distance runner" and an "apostate," picturing a restless wanderer who follows animal trails rather than the usual paths. He even predicts its "ruin," though he says it with a shrug, as something as natural as breathing.

Underneath the jokes is loneliness. The birds never spoke to him, but he imagines them calling this child by name. He also admits the world won't miss "one more neurotic primate lover," which is a wry way of undercutting his own hopes and fears.

The ending slows into a quiet image: bindweed turning gold in the lilac, and bottles left in windows above strangers' graves to catch winter light. The mood is wistful and gently funny, with a sense of small beauty made from what's left behind.

Read also

More by Dave Bonta

All poems
ContemplativeDave Bonta

Plea bargain

I hear half a beat of drum to serve time have half a hope in the meantime praise God
DreamyDave Bonta

Cibola 3

I awake in the dark and shake free of sheets & blankets, of down-filled quilt. The rituals of waking– the long, hot shower, the coffee–give
ContemplativeDave Bonta

In good light

On a maple’s pale bark, a zigzag ladder—old tooth-marks from a wandering snail? Green islands of moss