anger

when i got angry i did multiple things at once as if i fluctuated between emotions

i cried and as tears poured down my face i pounded the table, anything hard and sturdy until my fists ached

i grabbed fist fills of my hair pulling at my scalp and i can't tell if it was to stop hitting or to hurt myself more

in the car i pounded the door raised my head to hold my tears waiting for my dad to get out counting how long until i can just cry

he taught me not how to deal with my anger "don't cry" was yelled at me "don't let people see you cry" don't let people see you're human basically

but how can you tell your own child that that crying makes you weak that it makes you human so i did what i was told...