Still Here — Summary

Hamish ToddInspired

Entombed like a tulip bulb Rolled up with no way out Buried alive And if that Weren’t bad enough There’s a racket Like world’s end Coming from above Like the lid of the coffin Will collapse And I’ll be crushed As well as smothered There is a mask Of hard plastic Upon my face

I can’t move my arms My fear level Is fast approaching panic I know if I panic The scant oxygen Between me and the Top of the lid Will escape even faster I will accelerate my own demise

The tube I have been inserted into Like the cork of a bottle Is looking deep into my brain Bubbles suspended in glass

All the while My left hand Is fingering the panic button The MRI will be Interrupted If I become Overly claustrophobic Or otherwise find myself In a panic

All because I have become deaf In my left ear And they don’t know why Doctors want to ensure That it isn’t a tumor in my Brain interfering with my senses

I’ve grown used to it now I have adapted I am grateful that I can hear at all And see and ambulate Get around, make sound Make breakfast, make whoopie Make dinner, make friends

When I listen to my Beatles records I hear their stereophonic harmonies In old-fashioned mono And I still feel a little like The fool on the hill Who sees the sun going down Earlier than ever now And the world still spinning round

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The speaker is lying inside an MRI machine, and the poem turns the experience into a nightmare of being buried alive. The scanner is a coffin, a tulip bulb in the ground, a cork pushed into a bottle. The noise overhead sounds like the world ending, and the speaker fights to stay calm, knowing that panic would only use up the little air they have. One hand rests on the panic button the whole time. We learn the reason for the scan: deafness in the left ear, and doctors checking for a brain tumor.

The mood shifts near the end. The speaker says they have adapted and feels thankful for small things like hearing at all, walking, making breakfast and friends. The humor in "make whoopie" lightens the tone. The final image, hearing Beatles records in mono and feeling like "the fool on the hill," is wistful but calm. Life is shortening, perhaps, yet the world keeps spinning, and the speaker is still here.

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