Jane Odair's poem is written from inside a cycle of self-harm, and the word "Again" ending every pair of lines makes that cycle impossible to miss. The speaker begins by calling the pain "good" and a distraction, as if it brings relief. But the poem slowly turns. Pain becomes "punishment," then something that "starts to hurt" in a way that no longer helps, and the scar tissue is scratched open before it can heal. The tally on the hip suggests the speaker is keeping count, almost like a record of guilt.
The mood is bleak, quiet and tense. The lines are short and flat, which makes the speaker sound tired and numb rather than dramatic. The most striking moment comes near the end: "I want to stop, I cannot." The last word, "Help," sits right before the final "Again," so it reads as a plea that gets swallowed by the loop. The poem leaves us with a painful sense of being stuck, and a wish to be heard.