Almost every line in "contradictory" sets a feeling or desire against something that blocks it. The speaker is tired but can't sleep, hungry but sick at the thought of food, wanting to leave but staying put. Each "but" works like a door closing, and the repetition makes the speaker's life feel like a loop with no way out.
What stands out is how ordinary the language is. There are no grand metaphors, apart from the "weight on my chest," which captures a physical heaviness that could be anxiety or exhaustion. The line "I'm not happy, but I'm not necessarily sad" is especially telling: the speaker is stuck in a flat, numb middle ground rather than in any clear emotion. The wish to be genuine, while hiding behind a facade, suggests a gap between the inner and outer self.
The mood is weary and confused. The closing question isn't really asking for an answer. It sounds like someone worn out by their own mind.