To Carry On

To carry on with life is hard. The temptation to end it always lurking behind a shadow. Have you reached out to it yet? Called its name? Asked it to kill you and make it all go away? Trust me I haven't, Been tempted but no. They say I have too much to live for, All those people who follow behind me. Beg me to take them and make them mine, Tell me I'm perfect and everything they want. But I tell myself its lies, None of it's true. I'm far from perfect, Why won't you admit it? I scream in my head for release that will never come, The need to let go for just a minute. But no I keep it locked up, Behind this happy face a smile all the time. Do you use a facade? Do you know how I feel? That life isn't worth it sometimes, But then that person comes along and says: 'Don't worry, because I'm here.' And you try so hard not to, But the doubts come back and haunt like never before. No escape, no drugs, no alcohol, no nothing but pain. No torture, no cutting, no nothing the same. Just the tearing apart of my love and hope, My will for everything just disappears. But I try to carry on.......