The speaker is caught between two feelings that won't separate: love and hate, tangled around the same person. Seeing this person causes pain, yet their smile brings love. The hate flares up when they touch someone else, "her," which suggests the speaker is watching a love they wanted slip to a rival. Even so, the final lines pull back toward love, since remembering the time when "us both" were together softens the anger.
The opening line is odd and a little broken: "I don't let me be thrown away." The grammar seems to show someone insisting on their own worth, refusing to be discarded, even though the rest of the poem suggests they have been left behind. The repeated "every time" gives the poem a feeling of being stuck in a loop, as if these emotions return again and again. The mood is raw, bittersweet and unresolved. The speaker doesn't pick a side, and the poem ends on love, though it's love tied to memory and loss.