Late Night Ponderings

I sit here, typing, without a plan Because thoughts and feelings have been piling up inside the confines of my mind.

Today, I listened to a woman speak about her child, Lost at 17 to the icy grips of death. One wrong move and her life was not spared. Later, I asked someone who knew her what she was like. "Kid was a mess," she said. "Drugs just made it worse."

I went home thinking how precarious life is And about how many things I would miss, Were I to die today.

Being at the brink of submitting myself before, A new perspective is appreciated. I can look up at the sky and think about how I'll miss it, And not wonder if it's the last time I'll walk under it.

I'd miss hearing people laugh. I'd miss hearing my guinea pigs wheek at me for food or attention. I'd miss playing music, as much as I don't like to practice. I'd miss feeling the grass under my feet, Or the wind in my hair, Or warm sand on a mild June day.

I'd miss being able to tell my loved ones how much they mean to me. I'd miss simply being able to go to work and bury my face in a horse's mane. I'd miss...nearly everything.

I haven't been in love yet. I want to know what it feels like. I want to know how it feels to walk on stage and get a diploma. I want to know how it feels to walk down an isle and see my true love at the other end. I want to know what it feels like to hold my child for the first time.

So many things I want to feel. So many things I want to do. So many things I'd miss.

Think about the things you'd miss. Think about your future. Please....don't take your life tonight.